The State We're In by Adele Parks

Author:Adele Parks [Parks, Adele]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Fiction, General
ISBN: 9780755371402
Google: abRMrT4N6sIC
Amazon: B00ABLJ2GG
Publisher: Review
Published: 2013-07-03T16:00:00+00:00

24

Eddie

I recognise her the moment she walks in, which is a miracle, because my vision is letting me down and, well, it’s been forever. Some might make something of that. There isn’t anything to make of it. I recognise her because she hasn’t changed. Inevitably, there are a few more lines around her eyes, the skin underneath her jaw has slackened a fraction and she is perhaps three or four pounds heavier – she carries it all on her stomach. But on the plus side, her clothes are even posher than they were – and they were always refined, a cut above. She’s wearing white linen trousers and a thin woollen navy top, probably cashmere, I’d guess. The top wafts gently around her as she walks towards me, caressing her shoulders, hips, breasts. Her hair is a little longer than I remember, softer, feathered. She used to wear it in the Purdey style, inspired by The New Avengers; she had the cheekbones and the endless legs to carry it off. There were a lot of Joanna Lumley wannabes back then. Clara was one of the few who was convincing.

Yes, not bad at all. She has that air. The air of a woman who was once something in the seventies; awake and aware, desirable when we really knew how to desire. If you’ve once had it, you’re forever conscious of it. Some wear their past glory with bitter disappointment that they’re so far from their triumphant conquests now, others with blithe ignorance that this is the case. She wears hers with a quiet dignity; about her is just a whispered hint that she was once fabulous and is now a woman who is not bad for her age. She has definitely aged better than anyone else I know; certainly better than I have. I’m jabbed by a lawless spike of admiration mixed with miserable anger that this should be the case. The moment I see her, I realise that this is what I wanted. Her here. One last time. What I’ve secretly hoped for ever since I sent the letter. But in the instant I realise as much, I am infused with another thought: I wish she hadn’t come.

It would have been better if she’d remembered me as I was.

I’m not usually one for feeling sorry for myself, but this reunion – this stroll down memory lane, or whatever we’re going to do – would be a damn sight easier if that bloody catheter wasn’t so prominent. She can see my piss. Who wants that? No one. Not after what we were.

The bloke in the bed opposite hears her shoes clip-clattering through the ward and strains to sit up for a better look. It’s obvious he doesn’t get enough; he’s a shadow of a man. I’ve seen his wife. She’s big, bespectacled and bossy. She comes here with bags of grapes and her cheap magazines, hair perpetually tied back in a greasy ponytail. She gobbles the grapes while reading the gossip and lecturing him about cutting back on cigarettes.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.